Posts Tagged ‘confession’

Confession from the words of another.

“I want you. I’m much more of an animal than you think. I wanted you from the first moment I saw you — and the only thing I’m ashamed of is that I did not know it. I did not know why the brightest moments I found were the ones in your presence, where I could lift my head to look at you. I did not know the nature of what I felt, nor the reason. I know it now. That is all I want. I want you in my bed — and you are free of me for all the rest of your time. There’s nothing you’ll have to pretend — don’t think of me, don’t feel; don’t care — I do not want your mind, your will, your being or your soul, so long as it’s to me that you will come for that lowest one of your desires. I am an animal who wants nothing but the sensation of pleasure which you despise — but I want it from you. You’d give up any height of virtue for it, while I — I haven’t any to give up. There’s none I seek or wish to reach. I am so low that I would exchange the greatest sight of beauty in the world for the sight of your figure in the cab of a railroad engine. And seeing it, I would not be able to see it indifferently. You don’t have to fear that you’re now dependent upon me. It’s I who will depend on any whim of yours. You’ll have me any time you wish, anywhere, on any terms. Did you call it the obscenity of my talent? It’s such that it gives you a safer hold on me than on any other property you own. You may dispose of me as you please — I’m not afraid to admit it —  I have nothing to protect from you and nothing to reserve. You think that this is a threat to your achievement, but it is not to mine. I will sit at my desk, and work, and when the things around me get hard to bear, I will think that for my reward I will be in your bed that night. Did you call it depravity? I am much more depraved than you are: you hold it as your guilt, and I — as my pride. I’m more proud of it than of anything I’ve done. If I’m asked to name my proudest attainment, I will say: I have slept with ___________. I had earned it.

Atlas Shrugged, p. 239-240

Advertisements

You look so good in the clothes of a poser
And when you smiled all the kids fell apart here
I know a place where it’s warm and it’s dry, dear
Let me take you there.

North of the river all the streets are the same. We can pretend that they don’t know our name. And the heat is turned all the way to full. So, don’t pretend that you don’t feel the pull.

I am trying to say

What I want to say

Without having to say . . .

You look so good in the shoes of an outcast. I kissed your throat every time they said it wouldn’t last.
But then I knew you, I knew you, I knew you.
I really knew you.

We fell apart in the parties of the empty heart
We danced the junkies in the shadows of bad modern art
We clicked our heels and we wished we were home
One more tab and your silk hits the chrome

I am trying to say

What I want to say

Without having to say . . .

Springs comes in when I’m rolling up another one. I draw the curtains in the glare of the same old sun.
We are collapsed in the act of just being here
Three blues, two greens and a beer.

I am trying to say

What I want to say

Without having to say

I

L

O

V

E

E

V

O

L

YOU.