Posts Tagged ‘closure’

So what do I do when I’m down and out?
I get up and roam around
And start thinking about
What matters to me.
And what it means for me to be
A perfect human being

Then I ask myself
I try to be responsible.
Is it impossible?
Can I truly be indestructible?

And then “he” strolled into my life.
Destroyed me, With a gait so heavenly
“He” ran his fingers through my hair
Revealed those eyes, More pure than fair

I know what it is. I’ve figured it out. It may be a bit premature. Some misconceptions and lack of experience, I’m sure. But when it happens, it happens. I’ve cracked the code. And it starts with inspiration.

A belief. It’s a feeling that makes a person believe in things he or she can’t explain.

I don’t exactly know why
But “he” smiled. And so did I.
Earth stops while I sigh
To recite to me a lullaby

I heard things beyond hearing
Once the world grew quiet for us
And with no fuss
My vision cleared.

Believing. Then seeing.
Nirvana and prayer
“He” dismisses my gaze
And continues singing.

Is this love? It has to be. “He” looks at me not. Love is, after all, a one-way street. And I fear sometimes we’re going the wrong way. “He” may not look. But the point is…I will always look after “him.”

It’s PERFECT. Everything in my life falls into place. THAT’S love. A sense that whatever it is I’m doing; it’s right. The things in my soul… they’re there for a reason.

His voice cracks.
The chord breaks.
The song is ruined.
I blink.

Snap out of it. Maybe it was TOO GOOD to be true. NO.

IT WASN’T.

True love is a broken chord. You realize he has FLAWS. Makes MISTAKES. But he doesn’t care. And, now, NEITHER DO I.

IMAGINE. He realizes his mistake and he smiles. And so do you. And it makes him even more beautiful because you realize that love doesn’t have to be perfect. It’s a SONG that solely has a meaning for you. And he makes life more beautiful because you realize he’s just like you. He falls. He’s also afraid. But that doesn’t conquer him. And this gives you courage.

He’s heavenly but not from Heaven.
An angel that stands in front of you. Not God.
And reminds you.

And brings life and love down to Earth. “He” makes love possible. I make life possible. Makes it a reality. Like bringing a painting to life, “we” vivify art and the culmination of everything beautiful too unbelievable to see, too good to dream.

So Love? I only have a faint idea. But I’ve experienced it.

LOVE is when one feels that moment of the deepest, most profound inspiration in not only him or herself, but the world around them.

It’s okay. Love is imperfect. And so is life.
And will continue to be even if somehow, one day, the public has enough sense to place themselves in the shoes of their fellow peers. Understand one another. Because that’s what it’s about. It’s not politics. It’s not something the government has control over. It’s not continuous research on a topic that is constantly changing. It’s PERSPECTIVE.

So, I’m saying I choose IMPERFECTION. Rather than advance, I CHOOSE to EVOLVE.

“i’m sorry.”

thousands of miles away. time zones in reverse. the last day of all last days. before the fireworks. before the final curtain drop. we were one. we were connected. and though it’s just by audio, it has been the first of many firsts. and that made me believe him more.

he sealed the happy in my new year. so much so, the heavens decided to give me a new year’s kiss.

from somebody else’s lips.

the apologies ended with the year.

the first time, i was very much still a girl. i didn’t know any better. i gave and took everything that i shouldn’t have. i did not know any better. i thought he had all the answers. i thought that if i just let him take the lead for a while, i’d have it all figured out too. but he didn’t have the answers. he was also very much still a boy. despite his track record, he still did not know any better. at least not in the way i thought he had. so i had to lead us to the exit. and on the opposite sides of the theater that staged our play, we walked on.

the second time, i tried to still be that girl. i tried to make it seem like i know better. i gave everything i felt i should. i gave to the last drop. i tried to know better. i felt he had all the answers. i felt that if i just let him take my hand and walk side by side, we’d have it all figured out. but he, too, didn’t have the answers. he was also very much still a boy. despite his short list of long term episodes, he still did not know any better. we tried to teach each other to the point of tears, he and i. we tried so hard to fight off the oncoming end. but the curtain has already fallen, separating us. one half revealed, the other concealed in the shadows. the applause echoes on. blaring like a thousand beatings against my soul. i can hear it still even in slumber. even in the arms of another.

i tried to play two distinct roles, thinking that i would pull it off in the next one. the first time, i took more than i gave. and i failed. the second time, i gave and i gave and i gave. i still failed. sala sa init. sala sa lamig. what role is left for me to play then?

to you, my third (and hopefully my last) shot at this charade – pardon me. i have tried to be the last one, twice. and twice i failed. i’d still try to build up the woman in me. i’d still try to believe that you exist. i’d still try to keep the leading role open for you and only you. if ever you’d come around… when you come around, again.

While my heart goes all out for you,
my mind goes out to someone else.

What weighs more then?
Who’s worth more?

You have my heart, you are in my heart;
Someone else has my mind; is always in my mind…

What weighs more then?
Who’s worth more?

If the heart is but an instrument of the mind, then there’s no reason why you shouldn’t rule my mind. But I found my own reason. Rather, that reason has caught up with me, with us.
Still you have my heart, you are very much still in my heart;
Though someone else is overruling my mind.

If the heart is but an instrument of the mind, then there’s no reason why he shouldn’t be ruling my heart. But I have my own reason. Rather, that reason has always and would always have me.
Still he has my mind, he is very much in my mind;
Though you are the king of my heart.

What weighs more then?
Who’s worth more?