On crying

Posted: January 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

Why do I always cry? No, cry won’t even cut it. I sob, bawl, those pathetic hiccup-inducing types of crying… And it’s okay if I had reason to actually shed that much emotion but honestly, I don’t. I bawl over scenes in movies that aren’t even supposed to be bawled over – the look on someone’s face, the touch of a hand on someone’s shoulder, a cinematic twinkle of an eye, a red dress… And don’t even ask me what happens during scenes which actually beg for tears. And the water works don’t even stop in movies. It goes on while reading, bumping into an old man on a wheelchair in the park, listening to music (holy shit that ALWAYS gets me), petting someone else’s beautiful dog, watching my niece’s videos on facebook… Fuck, I can go on and on, it makes me wonder if I even breathe as much as I cry. Why does it happen to me though? Why do my siblings/friends/people around me in general look at me weird or get pissed off at me when they see my mess of a face for the nth time in a day? Why don’t they feel it as much as I do? Why do I feel it as much as I do? If I were another person and I’d see me crying over something so trivial, I’d probably wanna high kick me in the face, too. They say crying is not a sign of weakness and actually a sign of strength. Fuckin bologna. I don’t feel any stronger when I cry. I literally break down inside and can’t contain the after shock… I get moved so easily I don’t know how my body manages to produce that much tears and still manage to do everything else. I don’t even drink that much water… (does that make me sound totally bimbo? I don’t care. I bet bimbos don’t cry. It’ll be great if my tears tasted like whiskey as consolation but no, same ol’ salty stuff). And it’s not like it’s involuntary… That’s the thing. It’s not. As if I need more reasons to be weirder than I already am.

(And the weirdest thing? I didn’t cry AT ALL when I quit my job. I actually laughed. WHAT IS RIGHT WITH ME??)

If only I could sell my tears, I’d have enough to end world hunger ten times over.

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