tit for tat..too (okay, that’s corny)

Posted: December 6, 2010 in GOOD READS

I don’t necessarily agree with the title but if you ever get the chance to, check out a pocket-sized little book called “No Tattoos Before You’re Thirty” by Sam de Brito. It’s basically a collection of witty, but useful/important advice the author is saving for his unborn children. The tone is very blunt, and tongue in cheek; advice given in a “guy” sort of way. And yet, a lot of it is quite moving. A lot of the advice he gives dwells on ‘issues’ parents are too embarrassed to tell their kids.

The book is divided into two parts: one part giving “daughter advice” and the other giving “son advice.” The “daughter advice” he gives ranges from:

“Don’t be the drunk chick.”

“Don’t roll your eyes at people.”

“Always stand up for old people.”

“Don’t talk to babies with cutesy voices, it shits me.”

…to things like:

“Never call boys first.”

…and,

“Orgasm involves teamwork, be patient with men.”

(I can’t remember any of the exact quotes, so I’m paraphrasing.)

Some of the daughter advice that made me laugh were:

“Don’t ever date a professional athlete, actor, or musician. If they’re successful, they’ll cheat on you, and if they’re not, they’ll be broke forever.”

and

“Take lots of pictures. You may think you look dorky now, but trust me girl, you’re just gorgeous, and you’ll want to have memories of it to look back on.”

One piece of daughter advice he gave that I found quite touching was…

“Don’t ever let anyone humiliate you during sex.”

and basically explaining that a woman should never do anything she doesn’t feel comfortable with, and that walking away and being a bitch is heaps better than becoming some guy’s porn fantasy.

That is somethings sex ed doesn’t teach you. Don’t you think that message will make more of an impact coming from your father, the strongest male figure in your life, than from any woman you know? But how many fathers would actually be comfortable enough to tell their daughters that? And yet, isn’t that such a caring thing to tell your daughter?

In school we’re taught the basic, technical stuff, and even the religious stuff, but nobody teaches you how to tell when a guy is trying to screw you over, or what to do when your boyfriend is pressuring you, or what to do when he’s going too far, or how to stand up for yourself. Every woman has had her own experience/s  with sexuality where she is left feeling slighted/ taken advantage of. And I do mean every woman. Why is it that we can’t say the same for men?

I, for one, wish I had learned how to stand up for myself when I was much younger. I wish I had someone tell me as it is. Damn Catholic school. All they teach you about sexuality is guilt and modesty, which you can’t really defend yourself with. They teach you to avoid bad situations, but not what to do in a bad situation.

Women usually get their sex ed from other women, but I think when it comes to the ‘unwritten lessons’, fathers should sit down with their daughters and tell it like it is. No other male will ever be that honest with you, because no other male will care about you as much as your dad. Plus, fathers were young and gago once, so they know how it all works.

I don’t know if sons would want to hear things like that from their mothers, but they should definitely talk to older women. Speaking of which, this is some of the “son advice” he gave:

“Have an affair with an older woman. By the time you hit 21, you should already have had a sexual encounter with a woman ten years your senior to “demistify” what sex is, and learn the ins and outs from someone with true experience.” (or something to that effect)

Hahaha well, I really don’t know about that, but if it makes men better lovers, well… men are entitled to their secrets, just as women are 😉

Another piece of advice he gave was, “If you can make her laugh, you can kiss her. If you can kiss her, well you can do other things.” (Well, humor always gets the girl.)

He also wrote about how important it is to charm a girl’s mother, keeping your finger nails clean, having manners, and making conversation with her, because if you win her over, then the father will follow. (I think all Pinoy boys already know that.)

Anyway, it’s a pretty good book. Try and check it out.

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