So, shoot me.

Posted: November 29, 2010 in PEACE.LOVE.UNITY.RESPECT. FREEDOM

I feel like I have no roots anywhere. If tomorrow someone told me I had to leave for another far-off place, I’d be sad, but it wouldn’t be too hard for me. I’d be annoyed and inconvenienced but I wouldn’t cry like I was going to die. And I’d adapt quickly.

I am constantly in a state of mind where I feel like nothing is permanent, and everything is subject to change to at any moment. Everything is in a state of flux. Though I am happy, I don’t feel “settled”. I have no real attachment to anything.

I live happily in the moment, I don’t look beyond it. Permanence is not something I possess right now.

***

I know it so wrong of me to feel this way, and I know there must be some point I’m missing. Who am I to say what I am about to say? Maybe I am an overly-ambitious person, but… I get so annoyed when I hear about other people my age, who have also just immigrated to a new country, and who go give up and go home for good after a few months for some sappy reason.

I can’t help it. I see myself in them. People who go through a similar experience at the same time tend to identify strongly with each other. I keep in touch with people who, like me, left the Philippines within the last half of the decade. It doesn’t matter who and where we are, we are bonded because we completely understand each other. Hence, my victories are their victories and vice versa. The same goes with our failures.

So come on, dude, we all get lonely. We all get depressed, and feel out of place. At one point, we all feel like moving was a horrible mistake. We all miss people we left behind.

Okay, if you’ve given it all you’ve got and you feel like you’re meant to be in the Philippines, then by all means go home.

But please do NOT give up just because …

… you’re “sentimental” about the Philippines because it’s your hometown, your mother land, it’s where your heart is, etc. It will always be there!! It will wait for you while you do what you have to do. Okay, so you “love” the place – it will always be there! It will wait for you while you do what you have to do. Okay, so you “love” the place, but remember, a place can’t love you back! If you “loved” a place, you’d live there without expecting anything in return from it. Don’t use “love” as an excuse to quit or for being too scared to give things a real try. Because if you do, chances are your “love” is really just sentimentality.

… you miss you boyfriend/ girlfriend. They’re still there, too. You have a personal mission to accomplish, and that is why you have to be away from them for now. Don’t do yourself a disservice by not fulfilling that mission. They know you love them. You don’t have to live in a valley of tears, and act depressed, heartbroken all the time just to prove that you love them! Go out and live!

… you miss your friends. Don’t we all? So, go home and pay them a visit every now and then, but don’t give up on your mission altogether just because you miss them; especially if you’ve never even tried making new friends in your new country. Your real friends will wait for you! Distance will teach you to value each other all the more. You will see them again.

… you’re miserable, lonely, and depressed. If all you’ve done is stay in your room and chat online with your friends back home, if all you do is watch TV, and you never want to go out and meet new people, well… no wonder you’re depressed! Get out and live the new life that has been eagerly awaiting you! Take risks! Do the things you’re afraid of! Be bigger!

… you don’t want to change. That’s a tragedy.

Don’t. Go. Home.

You’ve come so far. It took so much out of you to move. Don’t squander this chance just because you’re a sappy, pansy, sentimental fool.

Don’t give up until you can leave smiling, until you can look back fondly at this time in your life. Otherwise, you’ll always think of this as the time you failed.

Stay.

Some people want to stay in their hometown forever, and have the same set of people around them for their entire lives, and never want things to change, and never want to leave. If this is what you want, then your choice will be all the more meaningful if you leave your friends and hometown behind first, then return to it again.

There’s a very important difference between love and sentimentality. Sentimentality can hold you back from growth if you misconstrue it as love. Learn to decipher the difference.

Advertisements
Comments
  1. ptz camera says:

    I’m grateful for you because of this good written content. You definitely did make my day :

  2. Monex says:

    Part of how we can express love for ourselves is to share our love with others so you don t have to wait to love others you can deepen your self-love through healthy outward expressions of love for others. To get started thinking about how you want love to show up and be expressed in your life consider the following questions 1. What is one thing you could do today that would make you feel deeply loved by yourself?

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s