I don’t have a lot to hate…

Posted: November 15, 2010 in PEACE.LOVE.UNITY.RESPECT. FREEDOM

I mean a lot of them are assholes. But that’s all they are. Assholes. -Sexton Furnival

My day started really awful. I woke up 30mins earlier than the set time my alarm would get off. That should be a good thing, but I realized that I left my badge in my room and had to drive back, and yeah.. there goes my extra half hour.

It was a real terrible ride cause aside from the morning traffic and annoyingly pretentious road constructions going on, I had these negative thoughts running around in my head that I could not seem to chase away. The bleak uncertainty of the future, the elusiveness of my own security, and this ill-feeling that I’ve been harboring towards certain people hung around in the little space of my car.

I am not the kind of person to hate anyone. I’ve learned to do that a long time ago. If I don’t like anyone, I just don’t give them the time of day. There are too many beautiful things in life that I’d rather attend to than mind those pricks. But sometimes, those people that irk me are slapped in my face, as if life is saying “You gotta deal with them sooner or later.” And that was what sucked. That was what my mind was feeding me for breakfast on the way to work.

It came to a point that it was too much that I was literally shaking my head to knock-off all those negative thoughts. It was too much that, admittedly after a long time, I prayed to Him, to the Universe, to the Force, to the greater powers that be and asked them to remove all hatred and doubts in my head.

Sometimes, all you gotta do is ask.
… and you shall receive.

And voila! A note from the Universe. No, really. I get emailed with these “Notes from the Universe” thing on a daily basis, and while most would regard it as another of ’em new age mumbo-jumbos, I actually find comfort and strength in it. And the way things are going now, I believe we all have to grasp on any kind of anchor that’d keep us steady – new age mumbo-jumbos included.

When in doubt, Sunshine, give, let them have it, surrender, make peace.

When there’s no doubt, Sunshine, give, let them have it, surrender, make peace.

Did I make life too easy?
The Universe

Give. Let them have it. Surrender. Make peace.

No more negative thoughts. Whatever ostensibly big issues that I was having were transcended by things that I don’t get to appreciate everyday. Little things. Common people. They are what give me hope about humanity. No matter how many pricks/*ssholes abound my little universe.

***

It’s been a while since I’ve posted something here that I’ve written on the spot. All those recent entries have been in my draft box for weeks til I decided to finish it and hit publish. Haven’t even handwritten on my notebook… Man, I have forgotten to be in touch with myself.

How are you Sunshine?

Hell, I think it’s been a while since I’ve heard that from anyone. My life lately has been a blockbuster ride of chaos, madness and riot. It’s all zigzaggy, up-and-downhilly, and none of those silent, constant line of peace where I could just relax, ruminate and just… zone out. My moments of peace only comes when I play Jewels on my phone.

I just hope that everything, whatever this is we’re going through, will just break apart into pieces… That everyone will just blow up in each other’s faces and everything will explode until we will all be reduced into tiny simple beings that just want order and peace.

It all boils down to peace and silence. Where art thou?

Imma have to turn my ipod to full volume so that I can just bury myself in noise. Cause that’s the only way to pacify my mind.

***

I want…

to run away
far where there are bees that can sting me
to drown this pain
wrought by them running around my head

to write away
all layers of stories that make up
the fabric woven amongst encounters of
touched lives on this earth

to love away
without restrictions
and feel the highest measure of joy
even when I am deep within the throngs of any human blunders.

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