eject (march 2007)

Posted: July 21, 2010 in Uncategorized

aware or not, we’re constantly in the process of saying goodbye. bye to old ways, habits, vices, money.
to people, pets, places.
to junk, letters, dead roses.
etc. etc. etc.

it’s overwhelming to think of everything i already bade farewell to. or am abt to. nostalgia can be harsh at times, i tend to overlook those that i do welcome in place of those that has come and gone. always been the type who doesn’t throw anything away. from ancient gift ribbons to tattered clothes (used to cry everytime my mom gave away my old clothes and stuffed toys while i was out. she claims i never get enough closet space cause of my “junk” and wonders how i can still lie down on a bed full of stuffed animals. she just doesn’t get it.) i’m stubbornly sentimental like that.

but the hardest thing to say goodbye to is a person’s own distinct scent. maybe it’s cause i’m really keen on odor (good and bad), like how dogs are. and i’m not talking abt eau de toilette or parfum. but the natural distinct scent of a certain person that somehow, always gives me the feeling of home. and when that person has to leave, i’d take the last piece of clothing he/she wore and i’d sniff on it for days, taking in the traces of home before it fades. pathetic, yeah. but it’s the only way i can get a decent sleep for months after.

we’re constantly in the process of saying goodbye. and after countless farewells, i’m still not used to either the idea or the reality of it. i can pretend to. but i don’t think i ever really will.

CHANGE IS GOOD. if only i can find the damn eject button.

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